Rants and Raves
It’s been a month and I haven’t made much progress in losing weight, however, I do have new a new habit of walking most days. Last week I started Weight Watchers. I like it. I have lost 2 lbs and wasn’t hungry and ate what I wanted including birthday cake and wine. It didn’t take too much effort in planning. This is something I can live with and stay on forever. Soup is going to become a staple in this house and luckily we all like it. The kids always ask for more.
I miss Colorado. I’ve been pondering why I want to go back, what difference does it make where we live? I can suck up the weather, I’ve already made lots of new friends, what is it? I think it’s my perception of quality of life. Things are more laid back and easy going and slower in Colorado. People here in VA seem very uptight, in a hurry and driven. I’m not driven anymore and have no desire to be that way ever again. It has taken me years and years to learn how to relax and just chill. I’ve had tons of physical ailments that I know were caused by stress and am not interested in any of that.
The concern is that this drive and all or nothing attitude that I perceive is being passed onto my children. Quinn at 10 yrs. old is terrified of failing 4th grade, then he’ll have to repeat it and then he won’t get into college. Really? No one cares about what your grades were in 4th grade when you get to college - and he’s doing just fine. I was sharing this with a neighbor who told me she tells her 3rd grader he needs to be more serious if he wants to go to college. I wholeheartedly DISAGREE!!! Kids should be kids! Not little grown ups with filled schedules.
My husband seems to be jumping on the bandwagon. He keeps scheduling the kids for stuff and talking about getting them “involved” and signed up for activities. Ugh. We live across the street from a park - that is always packed with kids - they can go out and play. Boy Scouts didn’t work out - too religious and too much like school. He did basketball, now he’s taking tennis lessons. One activity is fine, but I’m not driving them all over town. Vivi has a few weeks more of swimming lessons then she’s free.
I’m going to send Quinn to summer camp for 2 weeks this summer where he can run around like and just be a boy with other boys. Overnight camp, in NJ, all boys. He’ll love it. He drives me crazy with his “I’m bored” all the time. He needs to learn to just be.
Vivi keeps herself busy and has lots of friends. She never says I’m bored. They are so different.
I have to stay grounded, no getting caught up in the rat race. I’m not in a hurry, none of this is life or death, they are too young to be talking about college and each day is a mystery and an opportunity. I will keep creating the space to just be. And stop daydreaming about moving back to Colorado!